Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Never Too Old to Learn

When I started writing this blog about two years ago now, it's safe to say that I had no idea where it was going to go or what would become of it.  Through a lot of good luck and good fortune, what is a fairly basic site has a fairly decent following of readers.  While the numbers have dipped slightly over the past few months due a lack of activity on my part, I'm still amazed at how many readers are sticking with the site by viewing past writings.  Tonight's piece is basically my confessional about another one of the many lessons I've learned.

How many of you have ever read, viewed or heard anything by self-help gurus such as Dr. Wayne Dyer or Cheryl Richardson?  Over the past year, my family has become quite inspired by the words of both Dr. Dyer and Ms. Richardson, and yes, some of it has rubbed off on this guy.  Of the many life skills they teach, one important piece is consistent:  of all the limitations that life can give you, the most crippling limitation is the one you place on yourself.  Over the past few months, I have experienced this limitation and I can assure you, it is devastating.  Since I returned from Boston in January, I have struggled with my confidence in a lot of ways.  Questions have dogged me for months ... is my writing good enough?  Have I left the blog alone too long?  Can I really fit this blog in with a demanding day job and a family that needs my time?  How do I take my limited experience and expand this blog to incorporate a radio show and other initiatives?  

The more I tried to answer these questions myself, the more miserable, panicked and less confident I became.  Every answer I would give myself seemed to point me in a direction that ultimately was a bad decision, at least for me.  And I have learned that if you make a bad decision for yourself, especially a bad life decision, it affects everyone and everything around you.  Cutting out the blog was, and would have been, a bad life decision for me.  I would not have been staying true to myself if I ended this blog entirely.  I have learned that deep down, I'm a writer.  An amateur writer yes, but a writer just the same.  I love it deeply.  It's my creative outlet.  And the fact that I can marry my love of writing with my love of music and share it with whomever wishes to read these pieces is a blessing that enhances my life beyond words.  I am also fortunate that I have a very supportive family and very supportive friends who are in my corner and will stand by me as I see this blog through.  The blog may become something bigger, or it may not.  It may end up with tens of thousands of readers a month, or it may not.  Either way, I'm going to keep writing and doing what I love.  It will be from my heart.

The limitations we put on ourselves is the son-of-a-bitch of life.  We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to where we see ourselves in the big picture of our lives.  It has taken me a while to reach this point, but I say tonight that the limitations I have placed on myself are no more.  There is a big sky above all of us that has no limit.  Reach up and grab as much of it as you can and as best as you can.  A fulfilling life will be waiting.

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